Reagan's Dura Logs

I recently read an article commemorating the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, Many historians believe this single event marks the official "Fall of Communism". Yet some harken back to a 1987 speech by Ronald Reagan who demanded Mikhail Gorbachev to "Tear Down that Wall!" They believe Reagan's speech started a series of events that ultimately put an end to both the Cold War and Communism. Talk about two birds with one stone!

Now I'm no historian, but I was around back in those days. I remember it a bit differently. Don't get me wrong, I thought Regan played a key role in the Fall of Communism, but I just don't think it's as prominent as some might suggest. I would argue that he, as Billy Joel might say, "didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the world was turning". Well actually, it wasn't always burning. According to my research, the fire started two years earlier...

It was 1985. The Russian landscape was rugged, remote, and expansive. The harsh conditions did a number on it's inhabitants. The natives did all they could to combat the brutal environment. They tried in vain to use any technological advantage they had in their battle for survival. But fancy electronic gadgets were no match for Mother Natures raw power.

Enter the picture, a foreigner. Deployed in the middle of Siberia. He had nothing but the cool leather jacket, and black wool cap he wore on the plane. Not only was he foreign , but he was an AMERICAN. Stupid Americans! Fat, lazy, rude! The Russians despised them. The Russians despised him. Surely there would be no welcome wagon to introduce him to this new land. He would receive no help (except from his trainers) from the locals. He was all alone, on a deserted, frozen island (except it was a mountain), surrounded by enemies.

I'm speaking of course of one Robert "Rocky" Balboa. So there he was, this blue collar (with a Tiger emblazoned on the back) Italian kid from the mean streets of Philadelphia. He was in the battle of his life, taking on Siberia, the Cold War, Communism, and most formidable of all, Ivan Drago. Talk about having your hands full.

To make a long story short, Rocky overcame the stacked deck, and ultimately conquered ALL of his opponents(Drago by KO). After his victory, he addressed the audience in a post-fight speech. He could've been a real prick about it too, saying something like "Suck it Russia! I just knocked out your boy! USA! USA! USA!" but the venerable Balboa took the high road, and delivered this amazing speech. The real speech that compelled Gorbachev to tear down that wall.



Sure he may have suffered some minor to moderate brain damage in the process, but what he did for his country was immeasurable. A true American Hero. His mark in history is indelible. It was Rocky who started the fire. No matches. No wood. In the middle of the friggin tundra. All Reagan did was throw some prepackaged store bought DuraFlame logs onto the blaze.

And the rest as they say was history. USA! USA! USA!

The Good Ole Days

Remember the good ole days when Postal Workers were the only ones going postal? Geez, it seems like it was yesterday.

Who ya gonna call?

A belated Happy Halloween:

Wheels Down

I wonder if Rex Ryan is still blaming his scout team for the Jets overtime loss to the Buffalo Bills.

"Yeah, our scout team didn't throw any picks or make any bonehead penalties, so again they didn't really prepare us. They just weren't effective in simulating how bad we were going to play, which obviously handcuffs me as a coach. And I'm a good coach too. Remember that time when I beat Bill Belichick?"

For those who jumped on the Mark Sanchez bandwagon, of starting QB's, Mr. Sanchez(56.7) has the 3rd worst QB Rating in the league. Only Derek Anderson(41.7) and JaMarcus Russell(51.0) are worse.

I think the Jets should hire Capt. Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger as an Assistant Coach. After losing 3 straight, there is no question they are going down, but Sully might be able to land them safely in the Hudson. Plus that JETS Fireman dude can aide in the rescue efforts. See JETS fans, everythings going to be fine.

This is what Crazy looks like:

Bubble Hockey

The Bubble Boy and his whacked out family are taking a beating in today's news. Falcon, the boy at the center of this debacle, was so stressed out this morning that he blew chunks mid-interview on the "Today" show.





Yeah, sure it was a hoax. But the kid was merely a puppet in the kooky scheme his f'ed up father concocted. Poor Falcon was a soldier just following orders, and of course, when things got out of hand, he was thrown under the bus and pinned as the scapegoat. Gimme a break, the kid is 6. Most 6 year olds aren't that bright and certainly don't have enough balls to pull off a stunt like that(see this post to see what normal 6 year olds do) .


If you want to start picking on little kids, pick on the little dork who scored a crazy looking goal in a mini one-on-one shoot out. This Pee Wee was all over the news for his so-called "unbelievable", "best of all-time" goal. Total bullshit. The goal was nothing more than some tasteless peacocking that just so happened to work out.




Yeah, he scored a goal, and sure it was totally unconventional, but there was nothing "unbelievable" about it. Actually now that I think of it, it was unbelievable....like bad acting. I mean let's think about this, Hockey Boy had to practice this shot for no less than 20 hours. That's 20 hours he could've used to hone his "regular" skills, like skating, shooting and passing.

Nope, Mr. Big Pants wants to perfect a shot that he'd be able to use ONCE in his life. Let's face it, if he tries this Chelsea shit again, the goalie's gonna stone him. Plus this "spectacular" goal can't even be used during a regular game. It can only be in a situation where there were no defenders around, namely an overtime shoot out. He couldn't ask for a better scenario, all the lights on him and the goalie. He has what he's seeks, the audience's undivided attention.

In my opinion, this goal is similar to hitting a behind the back free throw. Yeah, cool. Wow, that was different. 1 point. Okay, you guy's done resting, back to the game. Just get the ball in the f'ng basket. Michael Jordan tried to hotdog a little bit at the line once by shooting with his eyes closed. That's about as sexy as free throws get. Yes, free throws are part of the game, and can sometimes be a VERY important part of the game, but nobody EVER made the NBA based solely on his free throw percentage. This kid will NEVER be in the NHL because of that shot.





Finally, and I'm totally guessing here, but I'm assuming Hockey Boy came with this crap all on his own. I don't think his dad was coaching him in the driveway, "okay first, scoop up the puck, then spin...fling it....yes!...now skate around, hands in the air...soak it in". Didn't happen. This kid just wanted to jerk it up. Plain and simple. Hopefully his coach talked some sense into him. Maybe he got the Willie Mays Hayes treatment, "Hey nice goal....don't ever do it again!"

Hockey Boy will happily skate around the rink during the remainder of his 15 minutes of fame while the Bubble Boy will hide quietly in the attic from his lunatic father.

Halloween is coming!

It's October!!!!! Which means there's a great chance you'll see Matty Dwyer dressed up in a Bruno costume, and an even greater chance you'll see(if you haven't fallen asleep) the Red Sox playing baseball at 1 a.m.

But the big news last night came from our beloved Yankee friends. Congrats to A-Rod who broke out of an 0-29 slump with runners on base during the playoffs. His slump dates back to 2004. A-Rod was only a few hitless AB's away from breaking Walt Weiss' 0-35 stretch.


But to be honest, between Weiss, A-Rod, Mark McGwire, and Canseco, Weiss was probably the only clean one of the bunch, so I ain't mad at him.

Here is an excerpt from the NY Daily News:

"It certainly felt good to get that hit out of the way," Rodriguez said, describing a fifth-inning single to left-center that caused his girlfriend, actress Kate Hudson, to celebrate with rapper Jay-Z, who was sitting nearby. "It felt good to contribute and get on the board."

Kate Hudson? Jay-z? Celebrating A-Rod breaking an 0-29 slump? Did they break out he bubbly?

Here are some more woeful A-Rod numbers reported by the NDN:

Entering his at-bat in the fifth, Rodriguez was hitless in his previous 19 postseason at-bats with runners in scoring position and 0-for-29 with men on base. His lone RBI since 2004 came on a solo homer in Game 4 of the 2007 division series against Cleveland. He had stranded 40 runners since Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS, numbers he acknowledged he knew.


Wow. That's from the richest player in baseball, if not any sport(don't say Tiger, i swear to god if you say Tiger). Okay, so let me get to the point of this post....here are 3 Halloween costume recommendations for A-Rod.

1. Sam Wheat, Ghost. Everyone is gonna try and work in Swayze costumes this year to pay homage. Bodi, Johnny Castle, Darrel Curtis....there will be at least one of these cats at the costume party your at. Wheat is a Dark Horse, but I know A-Rod would be cool with it if only to do the clay scene with Hudson or Jay-Z.

2. Walt Weiss, Oakland A's. He'd have to stop doing roids, and walk around on his knees, but if he stayed in character, this one would actually kill at Yankee Stadium. I can see Brian Cashman and George Steinbrenner doubled over, slapping their knees. "Here comes our $250 million dollar man, Walt Weiss! Bahhhh!!!!!!"

3. Double Costume: A-Rod goes as Christopher Robinson and Kate goes as Madonna. Very catty, which is right up their alley.

That's all I got. Oh almost forgot, I heard this on the radio yesterday....had to share:




Two Degrees of Swayze....the girl in video is Cynthia Rhodes, who is also in Dirty Dancing with Swayze.