Good Looks

This is the worst "signature look" I've ever seen. It's safe to say that Jordan's tongue and Magic's smile have nothing to worry about. There are a ton of signature looks that are more imposing than Kobe's stupid chimpmunk-looking scary face. Here are the five most intimidating "looks" I've seen in recent years:


1. Tom Brady - this Brady is an absolute pussy. I'd have no problem going toe-to-toe with him in any sport on the planet.


This is the Brady that sends a chill down my spine. The one wearing the football helmet. All you can see is his beady eyes as he's thinking of ways to shred you to pieces.

If we were matched up against each other in a Ping Pong match and Brady started pointing and yelling "Omaha! Omaha!" I think I'd shit myself.

2. Jonathan Papelbon - let's just face it, any object coming in your direction at 100mph is a little unsettling. And when the face of the crazy bastard who's controlling said object looks like this, alarm bells should start going off. Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge.

3. Jon Gruden - now when you're looking for a classic scowl, look no further than this guy. Seriously, somebody needs to send Kobe some tapes of Gruden when he was in Tampa. That's how you f'ng do it. I'm pretty sure Gruden's face is permanently stuck like that after Warren Sapp slapped him on the back when he was mid-scowl(Everbody knows from the movie, One Crazy Summer, that if you make a weird face and someone slaps you on the back, your face is frozen like that).

4. Chong Li -
the eyes wide open move has always been a classic. It basically means that you're nuts. When you add the sinister point, it's pretty much lights out. I could see Mr. Li using that move every time he calls someone in Texas Hold 'Em. Even if you were wearing polarized shades you'd fold like a lawn chair.



5. Braveheart - face paint adds a different dimension to any look. It's borderline cheating if you ask me, but it's darn effective. It helped that William Wallace was seven feet tall and could shoot lightning out of his arse. David Putty also used this look to perfection. Also Mike Tyson, who instead of paint used ink on his face, looks pretty scary.