Bubble Hockey

The Bubble Boy and his whacked out family are taking a beating in today's news. Falcon, the boy at the center of this debacle, was so stressed out this morning that he blew chunks mid-interview on the "Today" show.





Yeah, sure it was a hoax. But the kid was merely a puppet in the kooky scheme his f'ed up father concocted. Poor Falcon was a soldier just following orders, and of course, when things got out of hand, he was thrown under the bus and pinned as the scapegoat. Gimme a break, the kid is 6. Most 6 year olds aren't that bright and certainly don't have enough balls to pull off a stunt like that(see this post to see what normal 6 year olds do) .


If you want to start picking on little kids, pick on the little dork who scored a crazy looking goal in a mini one-on-one shoot out. This Pee Wee was all over the news for his so-called "unbelievable", "best of all-time" goal. Total bullshit. The goal was nothing more than some tasteless peacocking that just so happened to work out.




Yeah, he scored a goal, and sure it was totally unconventional, but there was nothing "unbelievable" about it. Actually now that I think of it, it was unbelievable....like bad acting. I mean let's think about this, Hockey Boy had to practice this shot for no less than 20 hours. That's 20 hours he could've used to hone his "regular" skills, like skating, shooting and passing.

Nope, Mr. Big Pants wants to perfect a shot that he'd be able to use ONCE in his life. Let's face it, if he tries this Chelsea shit again, the goalie's gonna stone him. Plus this "spectacular" goal can't even be used during a regular game. It can only be in a situation where there were no defenders around, namely an overtime shoot out. He couldn't ask for a better scenario, all the lights on him and the goalie. He has what he's seeks, the audience's undivided attention.

In my opinion, this goal is similar to hitting a behind the back free throw. Yeah, cool. Wow, that was different. 1 point. Okay, you guy's done resting, back to the game. Just get the ball in the f'ng basket. Michael Jordan tried to hotdog a little bit at the line once by shooting with his eyes closed. That's about as sexy as free throws get. Yes, free throws are part of the game, and can sometimes be a VERY important part of the game, but nobody EVER made the NBA based solely on his free throw percentage. This kid will NEVER be in the NHL because of that shot.





Finally, and I'm totally guessing here, but I'm assuming Hockey Boy came with this crap all on his own. I don't think his dad was coaching him in the driveway, "okay first, scoop up the puck, then spin...fling it....yes!...now skate around, hands in the air...soak it in". Didn't happen. This kid just wanted to jerk it up. Plain and simple. Hopefully his coach talked some sense into him. Maybe he got the Willie Mays Hayes treatment, "Hey nice goal....don't ever do it again!"

Hockey Boy will happily skate around the rink during the remainder of his 15 minutes of fame while the Bubble Boy will hide quietly in the attic from his lunatic father.